By Steven Rowley
~How can you tell where you’re going when you’re always looking up at the past?~
The guncle, steven rowley
Synopsis
Patrick O’Hara is a “retired” actor living in Palm Springs, seemingly content with the oppressive heat and isolation of the desert. It isn’t until the death of his best friend and sister-in-law that he gains two extra guests for the summer, his niece and nephew. A tale that encompasses anything and everything remotely human. A story that embodies the idea of grief acting as love in a heavy coat, and learning how to continue.
~Our friendship began in darkness, but your mother? She was always my light~
The guncle, steven Rowley
Do I Recommend This Book?
Absolutely. 100% yes. Everyone should read this book. EVERYONE. Are you a straight cis man? Read this book. Are you queer and grew up feeling isolated by your sexuality? Read this book. Does grief seem insurmountable to you or someone you know? Read this book. Do you have a beating heart? Read this book. I am begging you, for the love of everything and everyone in the world please please please read this book.
Review
I found this book in a “Take a Book, Leave a Book” library and it has truly become one of my favorites. I don’t think I’ve ever read a book that feels so similar to someone giving me a hug while telling me that it will be okay. Not only was it expertly written and covered a wide array of topics to help me better understand life, but it also gave me an outlet to cry and feel my own emotions. As a queer woman, I distinctly resonated with the plights of Patrick in terms of the struggles that often accompany being queer. Not being taken seriously by society, feeling like you will end up alone, and having this constant need to perform are all things that I was able to reflect on due to this book. The book covered the topic of addiction in a manner that was empathetic but refusing to shy away from the uglier realities of addiction. It covered familial relationships and also how our childhood continues to affect us into adulthood. This was expressed both through Patrick as the adult reflecting on his experiences and trying to mitigate the negative effects that Maisie and Grant may face as they attempt to navigate life in the aftermath of losing their mother. The character development of Patrick is expertly done. I think it is a natural response to run from anything that hurts or scares us and often times that running leads to isolation. Patrick didn’t want others to see him suffering so he extricated himself from society and his family. It wasn’t until he was forced to spend time with Maisie and Grant did he understand that healing is found in the presence of others. Humans are social creatures and grief is too big to hold in your own two hands. Being vulnerable is terrifying but pain can’t be healed until it is faced and having people that love you around makes it a bit easier.
It took me a really long time to read this because I use books for escapism and I don’t like books that make me face issues of reality. However, by avoiding some of the uncomfortable feelings that I knew would arise because of this book, I was depriving myself of comfort and recognition.
Read the book. You wont regret it.
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